Halloween

Wednesday October 31, 2007

12:31 PM

Halloween 2007..........remeber how great this day was years ago? I was talking to my best friend from home--Bill Mandia from Brookfield, CT...when we really had a good time. Back in 1974..we were ..14 years old and getting dressed up in the cheapest halloween outfits. These days the kids Mommies buy them or make them special costumes so the kids look good and of course, everybody in town tells the Mommies what a great job she did making or buying the $175.00 outfit. We went out with the cheapest unrealistic looking outfits you can imagine...some hand me downs with cheap makeup and maybe a cheap hat. i always hated the maske which had the cheap elastic band that could barely fit around my fat-wide skull.Then my eyes never matched up well with the holes in the mask, so I looked at darkness while trying to get to the fron t door so I could collect my free candy. Most of the neighbors hated seeing us...mainly because me and Billy were the two losers that were ringing thier doorbell the night before and running--and they knew it. They also knew we were trying to convince thier daughters to play spin the bottle with us, which sometimes actually happened. We always used a pillowcasr as a candy sack and we always wound up taking the sack and smashing it against each others head during some point of the evening. I always hated the cheap bastards that rather than give candy would pop popcorn in the kitchen, and then throw approx 3 kernels of popcorn into one of those cheap little orange candy bags...remember them, and that would be thier donation...I always wanted either a Hersheys bar or a Nestles crunch....I hated it when I bit into one of those apples where some sick bastard had secretly planted a razor blade inside...it always ruined the fun of eating the candy later. My kids have it made...they have all the nice little costumes , and they get to run loose as i did, but they dont have anybody to run with who was quite as devious as Mandia. They hang with "nice boys", which is great, but not half as much fun. They have figured out how to avoid eating the bladed apples, which has been a big plus for everyone. The friends my kids have go around and actually say "trick or Treat"...while me and Mandia were like saying..."This guy is so cheap, he's probably going to give us those tiny little mints again"...and then we'd be looking in the house a bit to get a glimpse of his daughter....we were bad..Im so glad my kids have worked out to be perfect and not the little weasels me and my friends were. Happy Halloween

Football Injuries

Wednesday September 26, 2007

05:21 PM

I know it's been awhile..I'm sorry...between following OJ Simpson and the Senator who was attemting to play footsie in the airport john on television...I have been very busy. By the way.....I was in Cincinnati, OH for 6 nights recently and if i ever have to go there again..I may begin the pickup routine at airport bathrooms and helping OJ find his Heisman Trophy--out of pure frustration. There are only a few things you can do in Cincinnati.......fly back to where you came from, watch the Ohio people walk down the street slowly with confused looks on their faces, watch the Reds play baseball as bad as my son's little league team does, or check in your hotel room and find a thick rope and a stool. it really was that bad........anyway........ My 12 year old broke his foot 2 weeks ago running the football for his Pop Warner team here in town and is out for the season...he got one game in and he is done. My 14 year old is the J-V QB for his high school team as a freshman, and 2 days ago broke his ankle and nearly needed surgery but will settle for a cast for 8 weeks and is out for the season. I'm waiting for me to wake up from a nap, walk to the bathroom, and snap my tibia in half like a twig.........what the hell is going on in our lives? My poor kids are screwed....I feel so bad. My older one especially is in great pain, on pain meds and home from school for the time being. I remember back in august, 1977 reaking my leg in half playing football for my high school team. it broke clean thru, a compund fracture they called it....in half...like a twig....i was lying there on the field, and some kids looking at it actually vommited..I looked up at my own leg and my toes were pointed toward me the leg was so mangled...honestly. I had dreams of a college career that day, but they were erased that morning....quick. I was taken by ambulance to surgery and wound up needing several more before the leg was finally healed and properly fixed. It was painful, but the depression was far more the enemy. All I had going for me at 17 was football. I know you are all shocked that my grades stunk, and really hadn't worked on any other adult skills in life for my future besides keg parties, girls, and sleeping on Sunday mornings.....so the football was really about it. Thinking back to that day as i often do at 47...I tell my wife and friends how it really was a great day overall....because of the difficult situation I was dealt...I was forced for the first time in mmy life to grow up, face reality, fight back theu the challenge of getting myself better( I woulnd up playing small college football in NY after rehabbing back for a year and a half..) appreciating the true friends I had that took care of me throughout the surgeries, the depression, etc, appreciating my family and all they had to do in listening to me, visiting me in hospitals, paying all the medical bills, etc, being forced to do well in school finally so I could have a chance to go to college and maybe even graduate---which I did somehow, and in general due to all the difficulties I had to take on at 17, finally saw the light as to all the important things in life, that really count, as opposed to all the nonsense most of us waste our time on each day...........why am I boring you with all this? This is what I have been telling my 2 kids about since these injuries the past week.....I hope someday they will be stronger, more appreciative and better at achieving their goals as a result of having to go thru all this crap. I think they will do it...I really am so proud of them already in how they are dealing with it.....

The Fall/ off to Cincinnati, OH

Wednesday September 12, 2007

09:56 AM

I take off tomorrow for Cincinnati, OH...which is about as much fun as being told you must use a bathroom stall next to Senator Larry Craig's....................is this guy beautiful or what? He's now trying to get his resignation removed so he can remain the US Senate. This country is truly amazing...I can actually see him pulling it off. I will be in Cincinnati from tomorrow thru next Wed night. Have I lost my marbles or what? All this for a Plastics Conference. I will be at Bananas Comedy Club in Cincy on Saturday night. I think that will be ok...been there a few times.... I performed at the Ramada Inn at Harford Airport last night. Can you imagine this one? On 9-11 anniversary..I'm doing stand-up at an airport hotel lounge. My life is ridiculous. I actually had a hell of a night...but I mean...my God..I have to figure out what the hell I'm doing in this world......... My wife and kids are back in school...and thank God. My wife has less time and availability to catch me taking a nap at 4:00, which is nice. Both my kids are playing football, and my 12 year old-the younger..already broke his foot running the football--out for a few weeks. My 14 year old is a freshman and is quarterbacking the JV High School team. he really is doing well..very proud of him...wait till he figures out that high school quarterbacks get all the chicks. Even if they act like they are 7...like him. He has a nice little future there on that team...hope he stays healthy and survives the crushing blows of a real man. I am so upset about owen Wilson--the actor from Wedding Crashers, would up attempting suicide with drugs...............what is it with this Hollywood Culture???? let's see....make millions on making movies, grab all the hollywood babes, live in a Pacific Palisades mansion, never worry about a bill ever again, all this at the age of say....32....and you get depressed so badly, you attempt to check out early. I would love these guys trying to be married for 17 years...raising 2 kids that annoy me daily, selling plastic sheet to thermoformers and blow molders, and doing stand-up comedy at an airport hotel lounge on 9-11....while packing your bags so you can go to Cincinnati,OH for a week. Please..........stop.